Good girls, sometimes turn naughty.

First of all, it was a misunderstood, and I wouldn't want that anyone would feel uneasy about it. I received a message about something I wrote in this blog, that made Kristen feel somehow bad... It was something I thought and I didn't want to get misunderstood. Sorry, if it hurt you.

Then I met very interesting people last week. Actually there were all men, and it's nothing wrong but all were handsome and attracting. And it made me feel strange surrounded by such Mr. Perfect hunks.

Thus I went nut... and planned a travel that's was actually out of context... And my band and myself were travelling from Spain to France and way back from France to Spain... and then after the show we'll be back to Paris.

In this time I asked Jacques out on a date we both failed as we were travelling back and forth. Holly dove!!! He told me it was his first time, and well of course it turned worst than anything. I don't know what I am even thinking about... Will I stay in Madrid tonight or will I set sails to Paris... who knows it?

Will I ever make up my mind about what to make out of myself? (...) (Silence)

-Nay.

A Muse has born...

From now on my name as star will be Calliope... Alma for friends. :D

I selected this name because I thought it matched my attitude very well (am I being selfish? ). In ancient Greek, Calliope that meant "beautiful-voiced" Καλλιόπη, was the muse of epic poetry, daughter of Zeus and Mnemosyne, and then best known as Homer's muse, inspiration for the Iliad and the Odyssey. She was the eldest and wisest of the Muses, as well as the most assertive. She was judge over Adonis between Aphrodite and Persephone, giving each equal time with him.

Afterwards my fame has rised to 62%, so I am almost a celebrity!!! nd so, this is the cover of our latest single released today Broken Free; Cute, isn't it?

And as I started writting this entry last week now my star has dropped down to the 31%. It isn't my lowest rate ever, but it could have lasted just a bit more. I thought of updatinf the STCC Adoption list, that is pending of update now... :( I'll do it as soon as possible.

Here goes a frame of our music video Awoke (they cried).

I had an affair... by mistake with Jacques while we were riding to London from the U.S. I don't know exactly the way it happened, we were happily chatting and suddenly this entry appeared in my diary:

02:06 I left town with Melissande.

03:44 741 € was stolen from me in Montreal - New York! The crime rate in Montreal is appalling!

04:23 Jacques Jazet and I had a awesome time snuggling.

05:45 I've got a sore neck after I spent the night in the bus.

As you can check it hasn't been the best trip ever!!! But well at last it seems it was awesome sex. I think the other people in the bus didn't noticed it happened because I haven't heard any comment or complain about it.

Afterwards Kristen sent me a note from Berlin asking about him... May she be interested about him? He's very cute... but just that. I find him very honest man, and that is actually something to take an account when meeting a person, but itdoesn't make enough material to make something out of it.

I got too much love running through my veins...

...just going to waste.

I kept touch with Jan this week, because the last one we went out together. He made me a kind offer I had to refuse... I actually had to. He's always very nice to me and I am very fond of him, he usually makes me smile and feel good, and I feel a little guilty for have confessed him about my inner wishes I should have kept for myself.



We are back to Helsinki, because our fame dropped drastically down over here, and it feels like we should warm the cold hands of our public in the northern countries, frozen by neglect.

The band drop down to the 60th place in charts, and I think this is a fact I mentioned in the last post; but members are doing actually well, and I would like to thanks Kristen, Thérèse and Jacques. You deserve anything good that life may bring you, I hope we all get reward for all the toil we are sweating.

I would actually like to meet all friends I lost contact with... because I am very focused in the band and I feel I missed out something important about old friends, most of them got married, and children... and I keep as ever, and even when I would not like to get married under any condition, I feel I am going counter clockwise with my decisions.

I would like to adopt a child because I feel I have care to give inside me waiting to be free. And I don't find a man I would like to father my child, because the men I have known up to now, wouldn't like to take care of a child, share its custody and cares and bring it up properly, not living together as couple (I am not looking for anything romantic) but as responsible parents who share custody of a living being that was wanted, sought, and loved. Friendship is a must for this purpose and sharing ideals actually mandatory.

Bootched party planning!!!

Back in the U.S.A.!!!

I thought we actually could rock the cashbah, but nothing did happen... nothing as expected. Our show in B.A., Mexico and Brazil, were actually mediocre. I thought we could throw up every single skill, but damn... Impossible is anything. It seems we're damned. Damn everything I do.

Luck turns its back to me. After I've spent ages learning about party planning to see myself ready to ask out on a date to a special someone... And by misfortune found myself alone & lonely in Nashville (Music City) because I thought it would be preferably flying from B.A. to Nashville better than driving the coach all the way up, for 22 HOURS!!!!


My health came down, my mood wasted away and my pocket got broken. In this funny and fair situation waiting for my bandmates to arrive on time for our last show, I met an oldtimes friend (who now is a VIP) to talk with in the airport. What a nice fellow! It's been a pleasure to chat with Jan, who told me about his tour, that he will finish travelling to Australia... recalling me that I wanted to follow that way when I first came to design our tour. Then we kissed each other goodby (in somehow very chaste way)making me feel like the eldest spinster in town.

Thus, here finishes the turn about... I saw J.L.. crossing the street... and decided I could never forgive myself for ignoring him this time, so I fighted my shy side... which is the larger side I own and defeated it, crossing some words with such a hunk.

It made me feel just not like the eldest spinster in town but just like a fool myself. The worst part was yet to come, because I dared to ask him out on a date, and he agreed!!!!Did I see a smile in the face of goddess fortune??? Nay... she's laughing at me. We danced, we ate, we chatted.. What did fail? I have no answer for that question but the date just turned HORRENDOUS!!!!

5* Dancing, Sex appeal, Party Planning, a sweet charm and IQ didn't help me to make me noticed by him. this way of life is wearing me down.

N.Y. will be arsoned before I ask anyone else out for lunch.

By the way, and feeling such a miserable soul, neglected by human and other beings... I booked a Jam session. If life is going to make me feel like an old sock, I am going to make life feel like used knickers, smelly and broken.

Thérèse comes and goes and keeps on rehearsing old scens. How many times does she think we should film that bloody video?

Jacques Jazet came back from his holidays but I think he's giving up his application to join the band, because he told me nothing about since he showed up last time and yet this situation is feeding me up.

Kristen Sved's become the most trusted member in the band and Carla Walker the most famous after Thérèse... And me... that I pay the bills, manage the band, plan the shows, fix the coach on trips... and make the wheels turn... I get not even a sympathetic gesture. So, I am thinking to leave the band... Should I? Will I dare? It's cost me all my money, bank loans, friendship, toil, tears, blood and sweat... and now to get rid of it... would it make me actually free?

Tomorrow I'll think all about it... tomorrow I'll think.

365 days!!! Tempus fugit.

Thérèse is still on holiday. Her days off seem to last forever and what is worse, she keeps on rehearsing old scenes... So I cond't even mention her abour Jacques (who has been lately off as well), and that's driving me up the walls because I cannot count on them for anything at all.

First I accepted Jacques application but after checking he's idle (that lasts now about three weeks now) I fired him from the band. Not of course, before sending him a note to make him clear what happened (I am affraid of all that people who lately died around me) and paying him €1,000-. for the inconveniences. He'll be welcome if he comes back from the dark side.

Meanwhile as written before, Thérèse was off, and I couldn't relay on her to sort this subject out and decided to look for some more bandmembers.

I thought first about Michele Chady, a cello player I met some time ago. But she gently declined my invitation to join Melissande, just as she did in the past. She told me she's living a hard time, & so I must undertand it... I must confess by other way, that I would have liked her to accept because I have known of her constancy.

Anyway... well I played some notes, just to echo... and accepted Kristen Sved in the band. She's a little too much euphoric, plays the zither and has some notions of violin...which I don't think that would be a problem for Thérèse who is an authentic virtuoso of that instrument. I hope Kristen will learn basic scene skill or else I see our place in charts sinking like an abandoned vessel. She's accountant, her mother was a famous media celeb. and she planed to go to N.Y. to study at the college but was never accepted there. Who is to blame?

I miss Francis a lot... a lot... He may be now in his way to Rio, and I have known by an excerpt of his blog that his children's mother passed away. I am so sad about them, but I am sure they will be strong enough to face this downtime.