I thought we actually could rock the cashbah, but nothing did happen... nothing as expected. Our show in B.A., Mexico and Brazil, were actually mediocre. I thought we could throw up every single skill, but damn... Impossible is anything. It seems we're damned. Damn everything I do.
Luck turns its back to me. After I've spent ages learning about party planning to see myself ready to ask out on a date to a special someone... And by misfortune found myself alone & lonely in Nashville (Music City) because I thought it would be preferably flying from B.A. to Nashville better than driving the coach all the way up, for 22 HOURS!!!!
My health came down, my mood wasted away and my pocket got broken. In this funny and fair situation waiting for my bandmates to arrive on time for our last show, I met an oldtimes friend (who now is a VIP) to talk with in the airport. What a nice fellow! It's been a pleasure to chat with Jan, who told me about his tour, that he will finish travelling to Australia... recalling me that I wanted to follow that way when I first came to design our tour. Then we kissed each other goodby (in somehow very chaste way)making me feel like the eldest spinster in town.
Thus, here finishes the turn about... I saw J.L.. crossing the street... and decided I could never forgive myself for ignoring him this time, so I fighted my shy side... which is the larger side I own and defeated it, crossing some words with such a hunk.
It made me feel just not like the eldest spinster in town but just like a fool myself. The worst part was yet to come, because I dared to ask him out on a date, and he agreed!!!!
Did I see a smile in the face of goddess fortune??? Nay... she's laughing at me. We danced, we ate, we chatted.. What did fail? I have no answer for that question but the date just turned HORRENDOUS!!!!5* Dancing, Sex appeal, Party Planning, a sweet charm and IQ didn't help me to make me noticed by him. this way of life is wearing me down.
N.Y. will be arsoned before I ask anyone else out for lunch.
By the way, and feeling such a miserable soul, neglected by human and other beings... I booked a Jam session. If life is going to make me feel like an old sock, I am going to make life feel like used knickers, smelly and broken.
Thérèse comes and goes and keeps on rehearsing old scens. How many times does she think we should film that bloody video?
Jacques Jazet came back from his holidays but I think he's giving up his application to join the band, because he told me nothing about since he showed up last time and yet this situation is feeding me up.
Kristen Sved's become the most trusted member in the band and Carla Walker the most famous after Thérèse... And me... that I pay the bills, manage the band, plan the shows, fix the coach on trips... and make the wheels turn... I get not even a sympathetic gesture. So, I am thinking to leave the band... Should I? Will I dare? It's cost me all my money, bank loans, friendship, toil, tears, blood and sweat... and now to get rid of it... would it make me actually free?
Tomorrow I'll think all about it... tomorrow I'll think.
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