I kept touch with Jan this week, because the last one we went out together. He made me a kind offer I had to refuse... I actually had to. He's always very nice to me and I am very fond of him, he usually makes me smile and feel good, and I feel a little guilty for have confessed him about my inner wishes I should have kept for myself.
We are back to Helsinki, because our fame dropped drastically down over here, and it feels like we should warm the cold hands of our public in the northern countries, frozen by neglect.
The band drop down to the 60th place in charts, and I think this is a fact I mentioned in the last post; but members are doing actually well, and I would like to thanks Kristen, Thérèse and Jacques. You deserve anything good that life may bring you, I hope we all get reward for all the toil we are sweating.
I would actually like to meet all friends I lost contact with... because I am very focused in the band and I feel I missed out something important about old friends, most of them got married, and children... and I keep as ever, and even when I would not like to get married under any condition, I feel I am going counter clockwise with my decisions.
I would like to adopt a child because I feel I have care to give inside me waiting to be free. And I don't find a man I would like to father my child, because the men I have known up to now, wouldn't like to take care of a child, share its custody and cares and bring it up properly, not living together as couple (I am not looking for anything romantic) but as responsible parents who share custody of a living being that was wanted, sought, and loved. Friendship is a must for this purpose and sharing ideals actually mandatory.
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