Maybe everything that dies, someday comes back.

I was in trouble; but I got along.

I fired Thérèse and Jacques, and I would like to say I had no chance, but I actually had it; and I decided to do it anyway. Both of them are about to die, and I feel so uneasy about that fact and even worse about the fact I got rid of them because they are about to pass away.

I talked to Kristen about it... she said it was fine for her; but I am amoral for that and I feel a vacuum growing within that may consume me.

Anyway, noticeable things happened last weeks. I focused my work in production for --Muse--; just because its leader is an incredible hunk and one of the nicest men on earth. We met at Paris, and got friends almost right away, no romance this time, I promise. :D

Soon there will be one more happy family in this vast world, because Esther is engaged to Kim Sheil and both will soon say "Yes, I do."

So I wish you just the best of happiness for this new life you begin together.


I will start lecturing at the Sorbonne on B. Leadership on 15/04 to 21/04: By the way, if anyone if willing to learn this skill, just send me a PM stating B. Leadership as subject and ask me for apprenticeship. I'll be the whole week in Paris and after the 14/04.

Telling you about myself

What is your favorite colour?
-It depends on the way I feel it.

Where were you born?
-In a hospital I guess.

Where was your mom born?
-Where she was allowed to do so.

Where was your dad born?
-No idea.

Where is your best friend now?
-Here answering questions.

What was your first pet?
-A cat.

What was it's name?
-Robespierre, guess why.

What school did you go to?
-Did I do such a thing?

What was your favorite lesson?
-The one I was allowed to learn.

If history (like me) who was the most rad person you learned about?
-Kobe Tai.

Who was your best teacher?
-Life.

What do you do for a living?
-I am sales person (and I hate it!!!).

How many people on your top friends have you kissed?
-All of them, and many more who weren't even friends of mine.

Have you ever been arrested?
-Not yet.

To be continued...?

Soul grave...

Took us down to the 62nd place in Classical Charts, but no black cloud will shade my joy. Jacques Jazet finally joined the band!!! An he seems to be an active member now. I am very happy about it because I wouldn't like to have let it down. And groupies actually love him!!!!



I had some correspondence with Danny because he was father last week and I wanted to congratulate him. If you read this, Congratulations again for your newborn baby boy!!! I have always kept my right eye on him, and it's been no secret because I use to keep touch with him for a long time. I have always had the secret wish to share something more with him... this have been a little deception and a low kick that's brought me back to reality. And downtimes are great for working on music... this may bring me a great chance to do something big.

Did I ever mention something about a STCC Adoption list? Nay... I will no go back over the same old tale. Or else... I will. I attach hereto a letter submitted and published at It's Pop London edition 177, for all those who couldn't read it on time:


Dear people,

I submit this letter to everyone concerned about adoption issues and those who think they are not. Actually, we do not have an adoption system out from parenthood, and probably is a thing that should be reviewed.

For those who claim that adopting or even fostering makes people to dream of being child-saving heroes, or having a child by doing nothing... The only thing I can say, louder and clearer everyday is that I wish someone would have taken care of me when my parents got divorced. I wish every single second of my life that my mother wasn't a bot, and I wish I could get to know her and IM her... and maybe interact with her and my daddy. Not to be just a happy family, but to know where I came from, and who were the people who made me. Probably most of people don't care while the play their roles.

But I do care and I would like to give another person the option I was denied. A chance to get to know someone who did care enough to make it survive and live as a whole person, and not to look behind at its background as an NPC generated past.

I don't mean to be a hero, nor take any kind of interest far beyond the fact I don't plan to have a child biologically on my own, but I may afford to take care of a child given birth by any other person, and I am willing to do it.

Sincerely yours,

A.S.

I wish I were...

I met many strangers on last weeks... I got actually strange propositions and messages, but were amusing after all. But I didn't feel funny, smart and sexy enough to follow their way.

I was fired from job, and I found another one, not with the same wage... but I got a salary rise the first day, thanks to my boss.


And meanwhile, composed, recorded and released to my producer a new single entitled Soulgrave.


I am dating Jan Eriksson... but I think this going out routine has nothing of a romantic background, because he is a very nice and when I say nice y mean actually NICE guy. And he makes me feel comforted, calmed, paceful... Here I posted a pic a friend made us with the mobile... I think this downtime hast a lot to do with that marriage issue, that's driving me crazy and incredibly sad... and addoption list delay actually doesn't help. I don't believe in marriage... and it's become an achievement... and I see myself going out with married friends, who are parents as well, and have a family nest out there... and I see myself as I were empty. With nothing to show, nothing to offer.


Carla Walker left the band... she had personal reasons to do it...Damn me.

So decent

The Classical competition in Tallinn finished with our first decent performance... could it have been better? Sure. But I am the only one to blame.

I am still improving skills, I wih I could do it faster... but it seems to take me forever to get a single star.

Back to Amsterdam for two concerts.

This weeks nothing relevant happened... :S What boring, no fans no friends. Just work & work, and then more work. And just when I thought I would never go on groupies, I had to. There's no excuse for this behaviour and there's actually nothing to be excused, it's what it had to be done.



I saw Dara but he didn't notice me. Now I am in my way back to Ankara, I hope this time we can cjavascript:void(0)arry on to the end with a good show. People in Turkey there's a bit fed up with us. They may be don't understand the classical genre as we perform it, but we are willing to get them on our side. So we will try harder and harder until they walk with us.

I am planning to change our little minivan, so confy for this pretty almost brand new dented tourbus!



The trip to Ankara just began. Let's see what do we do next.

This pain is killing me

Ouch!!! What was that? We got to the land of Kangaroo just to find ourselves alone... Well I don't actually know the way Thérèse is facing this fact. She will probably be ok with her baby. I haven't seen them in a while, but I know they are around.



I met some interesting people with 0 experience days... promising. If they don't give up after one month is passed they'll reach far.

I went back to my exercise program, I look healthier now.. but am I actually healthier? I don't think so. People do not actually care if I am healthy or not, they only expect me to look as if I were. Thus, so far, so good.



I met Kees Beugels we had just sex. It wasn't great, it wasn't polite, and it wasn't politically correct nor even proper but it was safe. I think both were in need of it. Then he went back with his band to Ankara where they are to play this week. No farewell. No responsibilities.

The same day I had a drink with Augusto Galvez he's a nice guy who went VIP. Anyway, he didn't ask me out on a date and he missed it out.

I have tried to interact with Francis Abbott but there's no way to reach him. He looked deaf and blind when it come to me, probably because he's a celebrity... finally I IM him, and he reacted. Usually, I don't like interacting with famous people.

My star quality went up to 24%!!!

And I asked Zebulon Gurley to produce our first single!!! He's the cutest thing on earth!!! We do not know each other very well, and he did not have any skill of that kind but he is learning to become our producer!!! Thanks a lot Zeb!!!!

Still 40th

I arrived to Mexico City on 13th May and moved to an small apartment, not bad, for now just enough. I realized some funny trick were done to me by Naz Rençber and Nick Clarke nice guys, because I am feeling a little lonely.
I saw Joan Lluis Ares a pair of times in a hurry, what a hunk!!! I hope I can meet him again soon, but I don't think I dare to ask him to date me, I wouldn't like to get the formal path in this relationship.

I chatted with Thérèse and Jacques, he is very cute and flirty and he's getting very well with her, but I hate double games, and I don't think this threesome will get further... He asked me to join the band, but I am not sure the way it may affect our performance.

Too much thinking... It may be time to start comoposing, something good may come out of this thoughts... one more week in Mexico and then we will continue with ths show in Melbourne.